Go ahead, get TOO excited

KLR note get too excited 18-02-23

I’m willing to bet you’ve done this as often as I have – something comes up which is making progress, which could be momentous (in a small or great way), and you tell someone about it and they get really excited for and with you.

“That’s so great! Oh my word! Amazing!”

And then the response kicks in.

“Well…don’t get too excited yet.”

There are all kinds of reasons we default to this response. We’re being practical – all the pieces haven’t come together yet. We’re being careful – we’ve been disappointed before. We’re being realistic – not everything works out as expected.

For me it’s a sort of knee jerk reaction which connects to my “fear of failure”. I was talking with our Ops Director Alice about my book, and about perfectionism, and I said “oh I wouldn’t say I’m a perfectionist – I don’t really care if there’s a spelling mistake”. She said “what about the fear of failure? That’s an aspect of perfectionism too”.

Ohhhh yes. 100% I have that. I get to the 90% point with a big project and then slow down. Or stop. Or go backwards.

Because when you’re still in the middle, the grind, it’s so far away you haven’t even had a chance to truly imagine what it will be like when it happens.

My book, published.

My new house on Mull, and me living there.

PF fully scaled and not needing me day to day.

You think you’re imagining how great it will be. But then suddenly you get really close – you view the house, or the book manuscript gets to the FINAL FINAL document, and suddenly you panic a little.

This might actually happen!

How do I deal with it then? Will it happen? What if it doesn’t? Then I’ll be super disappointed! I’ve had that before! Best to be careful and cautious and pull back on the reins and…

…not get too excited.

And if someone else gets excited for me, I dampen their enthusiasm too. If they get excited then I might get excited again and, well, we couldn’t have that.

So what I’m working on now is saying fuck that, yes, I WILL be excited. I’ll choose to be excited. Yay, this thing is coming! It’s damn close anyway, and if things go wonky (like a broken ankle derailing your moving plans), you deal with that when and if it happens.

Cos it doesn’t always happen. Sometimes, things work out. Actually, a lot of times they work out. And that whole “I don’t want to get too excited in case it doesn’t happen” rubbish is just that: utter rubbish. It’s not as if I won’t be disappointed if things fall apart a little (or a lot). I will. And refusing the bubbling excitement simply removes a little extra joy I could have had in the waiting.

So I’m letting the excitement in. Or I’m trying to. A lifetime of the “ohhh, CAREFUL! It might not happen!” habit takes a good while to reset.

But I’ll do my darnedest, next time one of you gets excited on my behalf for something coming, to be excited with you.

Let’s let it in!

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Popped into a fave local coffee shop in York this week and this was the mug they gave me. ❤️✨

Wasn’t feeling so superwomanny when I got it - this week was very full, plus period cramps and multiple migraines and my ankle being wonky and more travel than I’ve done in a while. I had intended to get coffee but the cramps were so bad I had to go for mint tea and just sit until they faded enough for me to walk again. 

At the same time, I also had an amazing time during this week with the @weare_pf Board meeting in person for the first time. Getting to know each other better as humans and sharing ideas and making plans and most of all appreciating that the weight of all the business decisions doesn’t rest solely on my shoulders. 

This is just one of your reminders that being a superwoman looks different at different times, and whether you’re striding along strongly or sitting weakly with mint tea, your superwoman status still applies. 

#justkeepgoing #superwoman #muglife #wegotthis #onedayatatime
Every single time I go sailing past this lighthouse on the mull-to-Oban ferry I think “this time I’ll just watch it and not take any pictures” 

And then something wild happens like A SAILBOAT GOES BY and of course I have to capture that, surely I haven’t taken that photo before (spoiler: I have), and then I have about seventeen lighthouse photos to add to my collection of seven thousand lighthouse photos from the last twenty years. 

But, I figure, what’s the harm anyway. It’s my photos and my memories and it brings me joy. I love the lighthouse as a visual of my journey from the mainland to the island (or a reminder I’ll be back soon). 

So, see you soon lighthouse. Thanks for standing there. 

#lismorelighthouse #eileanmusdile #lighthouse #lighthousesofinstagram #oban #ferry #calmac #isleofmull #sailaway #sailboat #scotland #travelscotland
I read. A lot. My list of “books to read” has over 100 titles listed, and every time I mention a book I’ve appreciated, I get another recommendation of a new one and the list gets longer. 

One of the books recommended to me years ago was “The Buddha in Me the Buddha in You”. She mentioned it had some helpful principles about how we navigate life - and whether you’re a buddhist or not, there are principles you can learn from and apply in life.

I wrote it down, forgot about it, and moved on with life. Read lots of other books.

And then when I broke my ankle, and was sitting and resting a LOT, with loads of time for reading, I went back to my list and started reconsidering some of the titles on it.

When I looked up “The Buddha in Me the Buddha in You”, the subtitle was “A Handbook for Happiness”, and that struck me.

Dealing with an injury is difficult. Sad. Wearying. It can be hard to find happiness and every day feels about the same. (Very Groundhog Day.)

So I bought the book, and put it by my bed. I started getting into a pattern of reading a chapter every morning with my coffee.

I thought I’d share some of the principles I appreciated and which are already helping me as I continue to navigate my life right now: 

[the full post on these is too long for an Insta post so click the link in bio or story if u want to read more!]

Thank the spoon - a spoon stirs up the mud in what had appeared to be clear water. Same with life: hard things stir up what you haven’t dealt with yet. So you thank them. “Thank you, spoon”

The Fundamental darkness (FD) - the “Survival Obsessed Self” who responds in a way based on survival but not growth

There’s a gift in the struggle - He describes it visually as “the lotus flower in the muddy pond”. You can focus on the mud, or on the flower, but they’re both there.

Nam - myo - ho - renge - kyo : The happiness soundtrack - I pulled out the core concepts of each of these words as they applied to me, and they are: 

Bloom in the struggle
Flow of life

#karensnotes #buddhainmebuddhainyou #books #reading #happysaturday 

[full note link in bio!]
The snow is swirling the wind is howling IT’S FROZEN OUT THERE 
#snowing #happyspringeveryone #inlikealion